“Do not take to heart all the things that people say. Your heart knows that many times you have yourself cursed others” (Ecclesiastes 7:21).

I think you would agree that there are words that heal, as well as words that wound. Each of us has been on the receiving end of both. Yet the funny thing is, at least this is my observation, we tend to have a shorter memory for healing words than we do for wounding words. Sadly, I think we are wired that way.

One of my most frequent conversations with people centers on words that resulted in pain, confusion, anger, or feelings of rejection. We all know how devastating words can be. The Apostle James put it well when he wrote, “So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life and set on fire by hell” (James 3:5-6).

Now with those thoughts in mind, I want you to consider what characterizes the bulk and content of your words. Do your words heal or wound? I often find myself speaking words that are not as healing as I might like them to be. My guess is that it’s the same for you. So what can we do about it?

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is to ask the Lord to help us monitor what’s in our hearts, because whatever dominates our hearts will eventually flow out of our mouths. That is to say that our words are a fairly accurate barometer of our hearts. So if you find yourself speaking wounding words, the first thing to do is to check your heart. Be open and honest before the Lord, asking him to heal your attitude, thereby enabling you to speak healing words. 

The second thing that comes to mind after checking our hearts is to check our humility. I think you would agree that in many instances wounding words are fueled by selfishness (motivated by pride). When we criticize, condemn, judge or in some other way speak ill of someone, are we not generally speaking out of a spirit of superiority which reflects pride on our part?

Then finally (this may be the hardest part) if need be, go to someone you have wounded recently with your words and ask for forgiveness. Conversely, if someone asks your forgiveness for wounding words spoken against you, forgive them without reservation. If God readily forgives us, why would we hesitate to be equally quick to forgive others? My goal this week is to grow in my desire and ability to speak words that heal, not wound. And further, in Solomon’s own words I plan to “not take to heart all the things that people say.”  Sound advice, would you agree?